Emotions, there are highs and lows! 21st August 2008
Well where do you start and where do you finish...
I'll start by saying Frodo your amazing! As we all know now this race is a race to lose and you won big phella I can't say anymore than that and you know I don't need too. Simon, Respect 8 years apart and you nearly got it done again congrads. Bevan another gutsy performance and those who lay it all on the line when they're racing get the rewards they rightly deserve.
It seems the last 48 hours have been only a blur for myself. The emotional roller coaster I've been on is somewhat hard to believe and I'm still working out how to deal with it all as best I can. So here we go.
Two weeks ago I was in the best shape of my life. I've worked so hard with every ounce of energy I had available to me on a daily basis for 4 years. I knew I was in a position that I could realise a dream that had been burning inside of me for years now. But, in 2 seconds of madness in my final build up race in Germany everything went pear shaped. (Kris needed 17 stitches in his foot after a mishap in the swim / bike transtition area - ed.) These final two weeks heading into the race were some of my most difficult of me life.
It was not only a shame for me but Anja also. She had to deal with all of this as she tried to concentrate on her own race. If there was anyone who knew more than I of how much I wanted this and the form I had it was her. I need also to say before going any further that the support from everyone during this time is what got me through to the race. Internally TRI NZ was fantastic and believed in me 100% and that was great. They and all of you know how hard I worked for this moment. The kind words of support have been amazing for myself. It was not the way we all had foreseen it turning out some weeks ago. I can't really find the right words at the moment to express what I'm feeling when people ask how I'm going after all thats happened. But I try and I'll keep trying until I understand why it was this way. The easy way I guess is to say there is nothing I can do about it now... And the fact is thats so right! but, it just never seems that easy.
What good could come of such a dissapointment I ask myself? Well... I needn't look to far if I was looking for inspiration. My good friend and flatmate wins the race and Olympic gold. And my closest friend of all bags a bronze and with it his second olympic medal in 4 years. I look to my left and see Bevans bronze Medal sitting on the table. I know the sacrifices he made to earn it. I also will face the same reality when I return to my home in Germany. Jan too will have a gold medal to put on our table. He will have to deal with all he has too as the new Olympic champion. We both know and understand his life has changed forever now. So if I needed any sort of motivation for the coming time I'll have no excuses in this department.
I again want to make mention of all the support over the last years and of course the last few weeks and days from everyone. There were many ups and downs along the way as there always is with such a campaign. I and everyone around me made some huge sacrifices for this race and we all did everything right in my view during my build up to race. I guess over a 4 year time span the race for me came two weeks too late! I need to personally thank my one and only coach John Hellemans who is stepping back after this race. You are truly an inspiration to me and what you have done for me during our time together words would not do you justice. It was not the way we had wished it to end but we will fight again mate be sure of that...
To my Mum, Dad, Nicola, Michelle, Anja and the rest of the family we tried but luck was not on our side this time. But your support has been more than I could ask for and having Mum and Dad at the race was as big of a reward for myself as any. It's just sad it couldn't have been more exciting for us all on the day.
To all my sponsors that have been with me from the start and everyone that has joined me since I started this olympic journey it hurts not to be able to reward you for all the support you have shown me during this time. I look forward to catching up with all of you soon to thank you personally and vow to right the ship heading into London!. I need also to thank the crew in Saarbrucken, you know who you are. There support and understanding of my situation over the last years was more than anyone would have expected leading into the games.
No doubt there will be another few restless nights awaiting me as I continue to try to process all of this. But with all the support that everyone has shown me I promise to move on as fast as I can. We all get knocked around from time to time in sport and in life. But often its not how quickly you get up, but when you get up how tall will you stand!!
Cheers everyone,
Kris